* Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.  

* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.  

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.  

* Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.  

* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.  

* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.  

* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you're in a public restroom.  

* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.  

* The real reason you can't take it with you is that it goes before you do.  

* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.  

* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.  

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.  

* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.  

* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday with a television on the blink.  

* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.  

* Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world." "Going to church does not make you a good person anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger." "Real friends are those who, when you feel you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a    permanent job." "A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to remain anonymous." "Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side." "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to." "Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip." "People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross." "Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond to it." "Life is like an onion: you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep." "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself." "There are two things I've learned: There is no Cinderella. And, I'm not her Prince." "Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked."